the sweetest disaster

laying all of your sweet memories — down down down down

i could be the sweetest disaster you will find

when all the world is around - you don’t know why

i could be the only disaster in your mind

running

on the outside

looking inside

wanting more

wondering

if he’s out there

never was there

settle the score

laying all of your sweet memories — down down down down

i could be the sweetest disaster you will find

when all the world is a round - you don’t know why

i could be the only disaster in your mind

keeping

all the time keep

while you deep sleep

pass on the dime

wanted

someone to find me

that’s right you were me

too straight for the line

laying all of your sweet memories — down down down down

i could be the sweetest disaster you will find

when all the world is a round - you don’t know why

i could be the only disaster in your mind

laying all of your sweet memories — down down down down

i could be the sweetest disaster you could find

when all the world is a round - you don’t know why

i could be the only disaster in your mind

i will be the biggest disaster for all time

i am now the only disaster and you're --- mine (mine mine mine)

-JRB 3.3.14

Internal warfare

Maybe I was like the rest

Taking and using for the gleam

It takes awhile to let a newbie catch her breath

With a smile like yours

Once a stride was set

I sought beyond the convention

Your glance speaks volumes

to those who take the time to translate.

For a moment you may have allowed yourself

To give in to what you most crave

It's an inward battle waged first by others

Ones that were at one time trusted.

Do you really want the real?

Yet having too much fun to take its grasp

Or are you serving penance

For past transgressions

Damn those who've taken your glimmer

only for you to replace it with cheaper glare.

Paint it over with half-truths and leather cuffs

Edged out those who care

I blame them for a portion

You blame them for a part

Well honestly you blame them for it all

But they’re never going to know it

And they won’t end this war.

They left it for you to want to wage alone.

A peer into a chasm that light's not seen for a score.

Is it too late to relight the pilot that's been neglected?

Let me trace your name on my skin

Show them you deserve it

It’s the simplest war game password

To blow them all away

But you won’t pull the pin.

A public short discord

Long haired and shallow eyed

Darting across the room

I've seen you before can't place it yet

Down the hall or in my tomb

Why do you only stare

Is the skirt a level enticingly so?

Grab up your bag and take the seat

Or am I your distant hoe?

Wall it up

Tear it down

I see my way

Through your crowd

Wall it up

Tear it away

I see my life

Come through a daze

What's next to write about a time

That passed like normal day

Exchange of looks and wondering ifs

But that's all you tend to say

The encounter ends no more a blink

A public short discord 

Change on the seat, this all there is

Well now who's the whore?

Wall it up

Tear it down

I see my way

Through your crowd

Wall it up

Tear it away

I see my life

Come through a daze

I see my life

So many ways

Stick Hit Heart

I have a problem
Concrete as day. He wouldn’t play

This part of me won’t fit the you

Come take the fall

Step closer near. Kicked out of gear

Heart hand in mine turned up and blue

Oh

Get to this problem

Be in there now.   Please tell me how

Hit sticks and tambourines make up your shout

Blocked from the love

It wants a try.  It’s do but why

And that’s just what this song’s about

Oh

Dear darling problem

I’m standing near.  Awaiting clear

Want what those others can’t live without

Do you know love

Well sure you do.  Forgot it’s true

And now you know what the song’s about

And now you know what the song’s about

I'm not.

I’m not sad – I’m just waiting.

Waiting for something I thought I had a thousand times over.

This seat isn’t as comfortable I once made it long ago when seconds seemed longer.

They flower quickly now.

I’m not happy – I’m just trained.

Showing others and myself the face I want to see.

It takes more energy than before as there is less fuel in the soul to charge it.

Fuel is scarcer these days.

I’m not crazy – at least I hope not.

Though craziness wouldn’t be too bad of a label.

That feeling would be familiar, as I’ve crossed that line many times before.

Repeatable newness might be welcomed.

I’m not sad – I’m just waiting.

And

waiting shouldn’t be like this.

be here

Pleasepleaseplease be with me here, now,

On the same level, on the same playing field

Step inside my world, my bubble

It is yours too

Without question without fear

Match me

Read my mind

Feel my breath

Just know

And be

Fully here with me

Now

Please

Red Art

This presence and tone have created a curio cabinet for me.

I sit inside, contently staring, listening.

Please, let this consistent rhythmic regaling continue on.

It reverberates brilliantly in here.

His mind is a beautiful cataclysmic paintball fest of theory

reason

passion

Imagination.

The timbrous tones sooth.

But this mind challenges my place.

I now notice my entrapment.

No friendly glasscutter to help me after.

Please let him notice my worth.

I can be more than the figurine in the collector's box.

So afraid that my pigment is fading. Damn lacquer.

Or is my contrapposto pose accurate enough to deserve merit?

Shifting my weight and stepping forward.

Putting my formed hand on the pane to reach for release.

*click*

Take me with you.

As he pulls me out of the glass womb

I feel real

I feel human

No longer wanting to just be from the mold I cast so long ago.

Onward we walk through nature's man-made abundance.

But will he be content with what I have to offer?

Will I challenge him as much as he does me?

Let us continue to discuss the red art and see.